4 Tips to Survive Working With an Ex

By Alicia Geigel on September 10, 2017

Image via Pexels

Oh, romance, a phenomenon that we are all blessed to experience at one point or another in our lives. Romantic relationships, just like platonic and familial relationships, have the capability to turn sour for many reasons.

Typically, in romantic relationships, this results eventually in a breakup, which is hard enough to deal with not only emotionally and financially (if you have joint bank accounts, shared assets, etc.), but also if you happen to work in the same place. The atmosphere and tone of any job may be hard enough to cope with so the added stress of running into your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend can make matters even worse.

It’s hard enough to gauge the right words to say or gestures to use with an ex in the outside world but factor in a professional work setting and dynamics can get even weirder and more difficult. Have you recently broken up with an ex and find yourself in the same spot where he/she works? Are you not sure how to deal with this while taking your job seriously?

Check out my few tips below for how to be more confident and become more comfortable around your ex at work!

Image via Pexels

1. Evaluate your priorities

Before I delve into how to deal with your ex at work, I want to preface with this very important tip, which is to evaluate your priorities. Working with your ex can be a completely harmless thing or it can turn out to be more harmful than helpful to your well-being.

If you feel that being close with your ex at your job is unhealthy or toxic for you, then you may have to evaluate the importance of your job. If your job is something temporary and replaceable? If so, you should consider seeking a job elsewhere if your present circumstances prove to have a negative influence on you.

2. Remember your purpose at your job

Now that you’ve evaluated your comfort ability and safety at work with your ex, the first step to working efficiently with an ex at your job is to remember your purpose at your job. Upon seeing that your ex is in the same building as you, working with the same company, and being just a few feet away from you, you may lose a sense of why you’re there in the first place. Don’t lose that sense!

Instead, remind yourself that your ex has nothing to do with your characteristics and skill set which assisted you in getting your current position. You are at your job for a reason and never forget the fact that you were hired based on what you possess, not what your parents or professor or even your ex have.

3. Keep focused and remain busy

Even if you constantly remind yourself of your purpose, the mind can play some tough games and distract you from the important issues at hand. Upon seeing your ex for the first time, you may be flooded and overwhelmed with memories you had together, songs, pictures, etc. which can throw off your whole day of productivity.

Regardless of how good or bad they look, keep yourself focused on the goals and objectives you have for that day/week/month and be sure to make time for yourself to work on your tasks. If you reach a point where you feel you are not busy enough, go to your boss and ask them if you can assist in any way with further tasks, as this can keep your mind more occupied while making you feel productive.

4. Engage civilly with your ex

Now that you know how to deal with yourself in this situation, it’s time to consider how to interact with your ex. First, establish boundaries with them; boundaries can mean which hours to talk, places to talk, people to talk around, etc. Setting boundaries can make you feel more comfortable and leaves little room for any misunderstanding or misinterpretation of behavior to occur.

Next, reiterate your position at the job and enforce the notion that you and he/she will have a strictly civil, work-oriented relationship. Leaving less room for a romantic progression in your relationship will help mitigate any chance of drama on the job.

Image via Pexels

While some of these tips may seem simple, it’s important to remember, especially after a breakup, your own worth and purpose in not only your job but also the world. Your worth is not dictated by someone else’s validation or affirmation, so once you come to terms with your own potential and respect yourself enough, dealing with an ex at work will be a breeze.

If they see you respecting yourself, then they damn sure will want to respect you in return. As always, good luck!

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